I have observed many people today in the library. However, one in particular...

A gentleman came in, looked around, and then asked for books on internet and database security.

Me: I asked him if he had look up any in the catalog.

Him: "No, I do not know how to use it."

"ok sir, let me show you"

We walk over to the computer, the screen is blank.

He looks very confused "Is it broke?"

I said "No, just move the mouse"

Still looking confused, says oh.

 After working with him for only a few minutes I discovered this man only knew extreme basic of computers. He did not know he needed to click search for a search or even click enter.
As I find him a few books, he tells me he is going to take an exam for his database security and internet security certifications next week.

Run

Spell Check, Please!

When someone applies for a library card, they fill out an online application. After finishing this, which is normally 3 or 4 minutes, they come to me to get their card. Asking for their ID, I look them up by their name.

Sometimes we cannot find them in the computer. We need to try alternate ways to find them. When we do, we confirm all of their information. About 50% of the time, we need to modify what they filled in. Some people forgot their birthday date, others put themselves in as the wrong gender. The most however, is the patron spelled their name wrong. Oh, you may think it is just a slip of a keystroke. I am here to tell you it is not. According to his license, we should be looking for John Weizenbaugh. However, an extended time later I hear “Oh I am sorry, I think I put in Jack". Looking for the new information and finding nothing, I have to ask "Sir, what name did you put in the computer over there about 5 minutes ago?" When you get a response of "Um, I am not sure", your poker face comes into play. I do my library magic, I find him in the computer. His name in the computer "Jackie Keilbaug". How, you may ask, do we know it's him? We do this by verifying everything on his ID and compare it to the computer. I then modify his application with what is true.

 

Many times the easiest of transactions, are the most difficult.

 

 

Sights and Sounds at the library

On a typical day at the library you find what you expect. The people browsing the stacks looking for books and DVDs, others using the Internet, even some studying, these people normally go by, not being noticed by others. But then, there are the few that stand out.

 

An extremely nice lady in  her mid sixties came up to me at the desk and told me she applied for a library card. I go through the process of checking her ID and issuing her a card. As I am explaining one last thing, I notice it. The lady is wearing a very thin shirt, this however is not unusual. The lady, who is very well endowed, was not wearing a bra which would have raised her assets to above her waist. This is also not unusual in the library. What is, is the outline of her large nipple rings.

 

I am not a prude. I am aware of these things, of why people do it, the process of getting them and maintaining them. However, it is a bit odd on woman in her 60's, in my opinion. I do not make judgements on people. I observe, and report my findings. This makes a sometimes mundane shift at the library, interesting.

Librarian thought bubble ~ "I hope this lady enjoys her nipple rings.

I just hope she realizes that nipple rings and a net body scrubby do not mesh"

How do people survive?

On occasion certain things happen at the library and you just wonder “how do these people survive?”

On such an occasion, a co-worker of mine was getting a patron a library card. After the patron filled out the required information on the computer, he came to the desk. When asked what his name was, the librarian typed it in and double checked with the patron on the spelling.  She could not find this man in the computer. A few times she tried and nothing. She asked for his I.D. The patron spelled his name wrong. Oh yes dear reader, the patron not only miss spelled his name in the computer, but also when he told the librarian his name.  She then asked the man, “is the spelling on your I.D. correct?” He responded with a laugh and said “Yes, yes it is. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Librarian thought bubble – “I know what I was thinking. You are number one on the idiot list today. Congratulations. Please do not ask me where the books are on conceiving a child.”

Summertime at the Library

Hot weather brings a different breed of patrons to the library – the Summer Reading Program gang.

Two types of kids participate in the program. The first is the eager reader who wants to read and truly enjoys it. The prize is just a bonus. The second is the kid that "reads" and brings in their book logs to let a librarian know they read for 12 hours. When this child is asked "What did you read that you really liked?" the answer is a blank look. The look often comes with confusion or a story. This kid hates to read but wants the prize. It’s unfortunate, because if they had actually read the books on their log, the story might be somewhat believable.

The parents of these children are on edge. It is summer break and the kids are at home for 3 months. These adults are under the stresses of their jobs, finances, and reduced sanity. The only thing they want is a few minutes of peace. Many times you will find these parents hiding in the non-fiction stacks, the bathrooms, or in a corner of the library rarely used by children. I once discovered a woman who was hiding from her children in the reference section. After asking if she needed help, desperation flashed in her eyes. She said “Please, if my kid comes looking for me, tell them I am taking an important phone call from work, and I will be back in just a few minutes.”

At least they are playing hide and seek in an air conditioned building.

Speechless

Today, I was helping a lady find a particular book on CD. I showed her the item, she opend it and said:

Her:  "Are these DVDs?"

Me: *points to where it says AUDIO on the side and front cover*

No, it says CD, its a CD, a book on CD

Her: "It looks like a DVD. Are you sure?"

Me: Yes, ma'am. It is a book on CD, you listen to it.

Her: "Well, I don't want a DVD"

Me: Good, because this is a CD.*walks away*

Can I get a Watch Battery?

 I arrived at work on a chilly Sunday and noticed the parking lot about 1/3 full. I am thinking "wow what’s going on?" People were lined up and even banging on the door. I looked at the clock, it was 11:04. 

Me: Can I help you all? 

Rude Patron:  Yes! You can open the door, it is well after noon

 and I need to get my hold.

Me: Sir, its just after 11, we do not open until Noon.

Patron: NO! It's past noon (points to his watch)

Me: The time changes last night...fall back. It's 11:07

Patron: "Well, you are here, can we come in, I just want to get my hold? "

Me: No, we open at Noon.

Patron: I am going to inform your manager.

Me: Ok. Would you like her name?

Patron: HUFFS and walks away

Librarian thought Bubble - Why do people still argue with me?

Sometimes you just have to smile

Patron: "Do you have Breaking Dawn, Part 1 in?"

Me: "That is not  out yet."

Patron: "Yes it is"

I go to Amazon.com and double check to prove I am right 

Me: "That movie is not released into the movie theaters until Nov 18"

Patron: "So do you have it?"

Me: "What month is this?"

Patron: " October"

I just stare at the girl with the "do you get it yet?" look

Patron: Turns red, "OH" walks away.

Librarian thought Bubble - "Please help me, this girl is our future"

Today a patron hurried toward the information desk holding a blue spotted antibacterial wipe.

She said that someone had defaced the statue outside.

 The very expensive statue on temporary loan from a local artist.

Our looks of concern were replaced with stares of horror when the library acting manager politely explained that the streak of paint was a part of the statue. The woman was thanked for her concern, and reassured that she did not need to return with more cleaning supplies.

Several hours later our faithful patron returned. She argued that the paint was definitely graffiti.

 We had to explain that the paint was there when the statue was unveiled

before she finally gave up in a huff of disappontment.

Librarian thought bubble - "Let's hope that she keeps her good intentions and

Clorox wipes out of the Louvre."

Trash n Fashion

A lady approached the information desk and asked for a trash bag.

It was an odd request, but (obviously) we get a large number of them.

 I found one and handed it to her.

She opened it, twisted it around, made a few holes and...

Voila! Trash bag dress!

My colleague asked if she was ok. She replied "Yes. Your air conditioning is too cold for me."

Librarian thought bubble -

 "And all this time I have been overpaying for winter wear at Burlington Coat Factory."

People of the Library

Perhaps I should start a second blog similar to People of Wal-Mart . I will add a tag for now. "People of the Library."
Today for example, a woman came in to the library wearing a yellow and black striped shirt (bumble bee style). The shirt was paired with paper thin white pants which were creeping up her back side. This was the perfect outfit for showing off her high cut bikini panties and accentuating her cellulite. It wasn't the worst summer outfit until I noticed her shoes. Pointy black sling back heels...with white ankle socks.

Remember to check the mirror before leaving home, folks. The Undercover Library Lady is no runway model, but she knows a fashion mistake when she sees one. See Dewey Decimal number 746.92.